One day I was on my way to an important event. In fact this event was so important, that it had the power to potentially change the course of my life. Leaving the house, I noticed that I was running low on gas. It’s OK, I told myself, I’m going to make it anyway. Of course, halfway to my destination I ran out of gas. On top of that, my phone battery was dead so I couldn’t call for help. Why do I sabotage myself, I wondered? Back then, I couldn’t understand why. Now I do.
People sabotage themselves much more often than they realize. In the example above, I knew perfectly well that I didn’t actually want to make it to that appointment. Subconsciously I did everything in my power not to make it. Why? Because I knew that it wasn’t what I really wanted from life. It would take me in the wrong direction, away from my destiny.
You see, all too often we end up living by someone else’s standards. It could be the society, your family, your coworkers, your friends. We do these things simply to comply with what’s expected of us. But what about our individual choices in life? What about the destiny that we consciously or otherwise know we must fulfill. These opposing forces create a dangerous conflict within us.
This internal conflict is a potential cause for numerous problems in life. It can affect your emotional and physical health. It can damage relationships in and outside the home. It causes stress and anxiety. It affects our mood often throwing us into depression. It pushes us toward making unhealthy choices such as alcohol or drug dependence.
Guess what? You will do what you really want to do anyway. But if you don’t do it consciously, you will do it in a form of self sabotage. Only you’re not really sabotaging yourself. You are inadvertently choosing the correct path to follow. Even if you’re not consciously aware of it at the time.
The key of course, is to consciously realize that you may be engaging in a life that you actually don’t want, or even like. To stop denying to ourselves who you really are and what you really want from life. These are tough realizations to make. They are life altering decisions that often conflict with what is considered to be the norm.
Well, too bad. Because once you become aware of your true destiny, the concept of what’s normal becomes significantly altered. You no longer need to comply with the so-called standards, instead you create your own. You build the life you were destined to have. Thanks to the steps outlined below, I learned to better understand myself, and hopefully don’t have to resort to self sabotage in the future.
I became self aware
Become aware of who you really are. Take time to reflect on yourself. Take solitary walks, contemplate, meditate. Become in touch with your emotions. Understand when you become uneasy about something about your life. Don’t let yourself go blindly through life. I try to maintain awareness of my emotions. As soon as something doesn’t sit right with me, I make a note of it and attempt to understand what it is. I find this very helpful.
I am not afraid to question my life
No matter how great you think your life is right now, you mustn’t settle for blindly accepting it. At one time, I believed that I was living an ideal life. Turns out I was just lying to myself. I learned to question my life instead. To assess the direction I’m going. It’s often scary to remove the blinds and take a close look at your existence. But it’s a necessary step toward discovering your purpose.
I dream big
If you’re going to dream, you may as well dream big! After all, what’s the purpose of dreaming, if you’re going to hold yourself back? When I dream, I go all out. Doesn’t matter how silly or exaggerated my dreams are. I believe in the saying that if you can dream it, you can achieve it. Practice expanding your imagination.
Often, just working toward your dreams is enough to make you happy. You know the expression, a million mile journey begins with a single step. Well, these small steps are your self expression. They are your passion, your inspiration. Enjoy each step, as if it’s the final step before accomplishing your goal.
Sabotaging myself from going to that appointment was the best thing I could have done. Why? Because thanks to that day, I was able to follow the path that I truly loved. It may not have offered me the same social status or financial rewards, but my chosen path, aligned me with my destiny. It made my life a lot happier and more satisfying to live. And isn’t that what it’s all about?
Live well. Vlad