Perhaps no other word stirs as much emotion as “love”. And while we associate love with enchantment and romance, the flip side is anything but romantic or pleasant. Relationships raise, and some of them fall. This post is about how to save a relationship that’s worth saving.
Have you ever been in a room with a couple in distress? You can feel the tension emanating from them. There are relationships better left apart. But when a relationship is worth saving, do everything you can to keep it going.
1. Assess Your Relationship
You and your partner, will have to do some real soul searching on this one. Too often we attach our emotions to the other person to keep ourselves feeling complete. This is an illusion. Step back, and identify the reasons why you are together. See how much the relationship benefits all who are involved. Think if more people will benefit from you being together or apart.
Once you’ve established that your relationship is worth pursuing, you and your partner need to be on the same page as it pertains to your mutual communication, reality and affinity. Each one of these aspects, depends on the other two. All three aspects must be present for a healthy relationship and mutual understanding.
When communication is broken by one of the parties, the other party feels insecure and breaks off their communication as well. This leads to an even wider communication gap. Without communication, mutual reality and affinity is not possible.
In order to stay “on the same page” with your partner, communication is essential. Communication is about listening and being listened to. Making the other person feel comfortable about sharing their thoughts and feelings with you. No blame or guilt imposed.
Without the communication, reality is diminished. The misunderstanding spirals further down. However, proper communication reverses this process which leads to greater understanding of one another. When sharing the same reality, communication becomes easier. Affinity for one another also increases.
WIth communication and reality in place, the relationship naturally progresses to affinity. In fact, affinity is a natural consequence of mutual understanding. This applies to every type of relationship. Personal, romantic and professional. Communication leads to shared reality and evolves into affinity and love. The relationship progresses further up, with all three aspects prospering and evolving.
Do you remember how it felt to fall in love? This is a powerful example of affinity. Your communication was amazing and the reality you shared strong. Now, you and your partner must rebuild and maintain your communication, with reality and affinity following closely behind.
If communication slacks off, look to find a way to increase your shared reality or affinity. Spend some time together doing something you both enjoy. Improve any of one of the three aspects to improve the other two. Rediscover your love once again.
Misunderstandings are often the leading cause of a break up in a relationship. We can see from the above, that communication is actually much more important than reality or affinity. Communication is a starting point for saving a relationship, and for correcting misunderstandings. It lets you bringing back the love you shared, and strengthen it into the future.
Live well. Vlad