how to know when a relationship is over

A relationship can elevate you to new heights, or bring you down into the dumps. Relationships are among the most important aspects of your life. How to know when a relationship is over, can save your partner and you much time and potential difficulties in the future.

As you have likely heard, good communication is emphasized as a key factor in a relationship. This is rightfully so. Most people agree that listening is the most valuable trait in a partner. Let’s focus on the aspect of listening, as part of the communication process.

Communication is essential to every type of relationship, be it romantic, friendship or professional. It consists of two parts, expressing yourself, and listening to your partner expressing themselves to you. Without this two-way process, communication would be incomplete. But to be a good communicator, you must first be a good listener.

When someone speaks to you, when they tell you about their life, they are offering you their confession. They are attempting to cleanse themselves. In Christian faith for instance, it is a job of a priest to receive the confession. A confession need not be something of a sinful nature to be heard. Simply sharing what’s on one’s mind is enough.

Not every faith, or persons use confession. Nevertheless, we still have a strong psychological need to be heard. When your friend or partner open up to you, they trust you enough, to express what’s on their mind, such as their worries, concerns and ideas.

By lending your ear, by receiving this communication from your partner, no matter how trivial, you are in fact, receiving their confession. You are saying to them – you can trust me to get everything off your chest, I’m here to receive what you have to say without judgement. I value you, therefore I value what you have to say.

Good communicators will take turns listening to one other. Each will give the other full opportunity to express themselves. They will not ridicule or criticize, just listen. Only after each one has been fully heard out, can the conversation begin.

A relationship without communication is impossible. A communication without listening is impossible. Think of your friendships over time. What was it that made you enjoy your friend’s company? I would guess that primarily, your friend was a good listener.

When is a relationship over? Once your friend stopps listening to you, your desire of being with them also cames to an end. And you begin looking for a new friend who will listen. When your partner stops listening to you, it’s an indication that a relationship needs serious attention, or that it may potentially be over.

A relationship starts and ends with self expression. If you’re not allowing your partner to express themselves to you, be assured they can find someone else who will. If you want to do a single deed to help improve your relationship, make listening a priority. This act alone can carry a relationship forward.

But when you know a relationship is over, and there is nothing that can be done to save it, practice letting it go in order to save yourself and the other person much time and pain from dragging it out. As impossible as it may seem right now, it’s never too late to start again.

I wish to thank Alicia Collier for the following contribution:

How do you know when a relationship is over? Many couples are in the relationship because they unconsciously seek to heal past childhood wounds. Often times, the wounds are further perpetuated which can account for many struggles that couples experience. However, these struggles can lead to self-discovery and healing.

Those couples who are able to manage through the struggles may grow together and continue the relationship, ultimately healing each other. Those couples who find themselves in a repetitive cycle of struggle will typically end the relationship.

The relationship may also end if an individual becomes conscious of the purpose of the relationship, while his/her partner remains in a rather ignorant state. In this particular situation, couples will depart onto different paths…

The partner who has gained awareness will move into a new and more fulfilling relationship. The partner who still lingers in ignorance will only seek yet another similar partner to engage with and will continue the repetitive cycle of struggle without gaining any true self-awareness.

Relationships take conscious effort; consistent awareness as to why one is engaging in the relationship is a necessity for the success of the relationship. Without conscious effort, the relationship will ultimately come to an end.

Live well. Vlad

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