how to get peace of mind

Recently I found out, that one of my major life plans has been substantially altered, due to circumstances beyond my control. These plans were something that I cared deeply about. Finding myself unprepared for the changes, I scrambled for a solution. The incident left me wondering how to get peace of mind in life, in the midst of chaos.

I caught myself making a lot of “if only” statements. If only I had more money, if only I had more time, if only my life wasn’t so stressful, if only things went my way. If only this, if only that… With my preoccupation with “if only”, I lost track of the higher understanding which can actually resolve these issues.

The Infinite brings you exactly what you need at the time you need it. You are only given challenges that you are able to handle. Not only do you need to accept these challenges, but to realize that you are given them for your spiritual growth. If you can only accept this fact, you will be able to better handle them, and evolve on your journey.

It’s also important to realize that you are not alone in your predicament. Virtually everyone around you makes the same statements and has the same problems. Understanding this, will make you feel more connected, giving and supportive to others.

Accept What Happens

Unexpected things will happen. It’s inevitable. Times change, relationships can end, jobs can be lost and plans can go astray. Instead of rejecting or trying to avoid these changes, welcome them. This way when they happen, you will not be at a disadvantage.

This is a part of the human experience. It’s a never ending cycle of perceived good and bad. How much you become emotionally entangled in it, is up to you. But if you can accept this reality, you will learn to maintain a state of peace. You will not overreact, or get hurt by the experience. In fact, you will learn and grow as the result.

Separate Yourself

The challenges are coming to you from the Higher Power. It’s enormously helpful to separate yourself from the results of your actions. We do the right things, but we have no real control over the outcome. The results will occur the way they were meant to occur.

This may not be what you’ve been told growing up. And while there are undeniable forces of cause and effect, the process has less to do with your direct actions and expectations, and more with your destiny and the universal laws of karma.

Stop Fighting

The mistake I made, was to assign value to my plan based exclusively on my personal desires. When things didn’t go as planned, my expectations and ego got bruised, causing suffering. I could have easily continued to rebel against my destiny, fighting it to exhaustion. Instead, I tried to be flexible and apply the above principles.

You can spend a lifetime fighting and wrestling with your demons. But what you get in return, is a lifetime of wrestling demons. Stop the “if only’s” and “what if’s”. Let go of the demons and practice living your life from a higher perspective.

In Conclusion

I continue to work on accepting my destiny, which isn’t always the way I want it to be. I try to remember that everything comes from the Infinite. This helps me to see it in a positive light, devoid of my personal expectations and ego. This doesn’t make my life less challenging, but one that’s more mindful and peaceful, and less dramatic.

Live well. Vlad

4 Responses to how to get peace of mind

  1. Noch Noch | be me. be natural. May 9, 2012 at 8:15 am #

    Hi Vlad

    Hope you are feeling better! I agree with what you said – esp the bit about stop fighting. In Chinese martial arts, there’s a form where you take your opponent’s force and use it against him, instead of trying to push force against force. it’s similar, use the force that backfired plans have, accept it, don’t fight it, and somehow can channel it back..

    ok going offline now… really… haha
    Noch Noch

    • Vlad Rapoport May 15, 2012 at 3:14 am #

      It is Tai Chi, yes? What a beautiful art! If we could be so graceful going through life…

      I am feeling fine, thank you for the kind wishes. Working on the peace of mind, hoping to find that perfect balance. Or at least keep trying! :-)

      Going offline for tonight!


  2. Lilly June 11, 2012 at 6:45 am #

    What if what you are having a hard time accepting is a death of someone you planned to live your entire life with. I find your advice very helpful often. This one is very hard so hard to accept as meant to be. Lilly

    • Vlad Rapoport June 11, 2012 at 7:04 pm #

      Hi Lilly,

      Thank you for your comment. Emotionally it’s a devastating experience. I believe that the answer lies in shifting your perception from emotional to spiritual. Love is an energy that does not die. As the spirit of the loved one, the love you share is still present. The nature of your relationship has changed, but it has not stopped. Practice nurturing your love in the heart rather than focusing on the attachment in the mind. I hope this helps :-)

      You can also read this post I wrote about dealing with a death of a parent. The underlying principals are the same.