No matter how level headed you are, anger can strike fast and often may not give you the opportunity to prepare yourself. Behind the feelings of anger can lie many emotions such as helplessness, frustration, guilt and shame. During and after anger, there are methods to get centered and calm down.
It’s important not to give in to the emotion of anger. Its powerful energy can consume and often escalate the matter worst. Remember there are always options that exhist to resolve a situation in a more peaceful and productive way when you’re feeling calm.
Don’t forget to breath! The number one advise on how to calm down when angry, is to focus your attention on the breath. When angry, your body tenses up and restricts your breathing or forces you to take fast irregular breaths. Because you are so distracted by the moment, you may not realize that you’re deprived of oxigen.
At the onset of anger, take slow, deliberate breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Continue until you begin to experience calmness and balance. Counting also works well. Count one through ten for each exhale you take. Repeat as needed. Focusing on the breathing also centers you and gives you the opportunity to take a logical look at what’s causing your anger.
2. Remove Yourself
When in the state of anger, walking away can reset the dynamics. Try removing yourself from the immediate situation. If you’re unable to distance yourself physically, do it emotionally. If you have no other choice but to deal with a situation head on, try to separate yourself from your ego.
Imagine that you’re watching yourself in a movie. You are physically present but your emotions are not involved. When you separate yourself from emotions, you will have the opportunity to see life more clearly. Often, this will help to eliminate the anger and allow you to better resolve the situation.
3. It’s Not Personal
If someone else is causing your anger, stop for a moment and realize that often it’s not you the other person is angry with. Often, their anger is caused by outside influences, such as problems in personal or work lives, or perhaps they’re just having a bad day. You just happen to be there when they needed to vent out.
When you still feel anger after a confrontation, one of the best first steps is to engage in a physical activity such as exercising. Your body needs a physical outlet. It’s aggravated, tense and prepared for a fight or flight response. It would be unhealthy to internalize these feelings.
Just a few minutes of walking, jogging or lifting weights will let you decompress. Your mind and body will feel less stressed out. Your blood pressure, heart rate and breathing will normalize and you’ll feel like yourself again.
2. Get Feedback
It’s important to understand the cause of your anger. Take the time to reflect on what happened. Sometimes it’s helpful to talk to someone else to vent out and get some feedback. Find a person who’s opinion you trust. Someone who can give you logical advise and keep your conversation confidential. Talking can have a great calming down effect.
3. Resolve the Problem
This may seem obvious, but actually resolving what bothers you will stop your anger. Take a proactive approach to finding the solutions. Prepare in advance to deal with it in an emotionally calm and productive manner. Be solution oriented. The answers may be right in front of you, all you need to do is recognize them.
From a spiritual point of view, releasing your anger on another being is wrong. Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. You may feel that you have valid reasons to feel angry. But when resolving an issue in a courteous manner, you avoid releasing strong negative emotions into the universe while demonstrating peaceful solutions to all involved.
Live well. Vlad